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The Smart Publican

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killer
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Out  in the middle of no where is a Pub At Bourke ,Bourke grows Ceral grains & have huge sheep farms ,every Saturday night the locals go to the Pub ,to bet on anything like flys going up a wall , Camel races , Frog races etc ,even two wild dingos that enter the pub ,to get a feed & beer ,they bet on the light or dark one entering first , the town is also known for Two Famous Stud Rams , Sam & Fred ,they are owned by the two best farmers for miles ,they are Super Fine Marinos ,& both trace back too the first imported Marino from the King of Spain imported late 1700’s ,they come from alaround the World to buy there children’s fleece ,at over $100 ,000 per bale ,so the publican got a conversation going on who,s Ram could service the most sheep in a night , both owners saying they could service over 200 a night ,so bets started to flow in on each of the Rams , so the Publican came up with the idea of placing 500 ewes in a paddock ,each starting from each end of the paddock with two counters ,counting the results ,the owners wanted to use there own Ewes ,but the publican said no to be fair ,we will use ewes they don’t know ,so the Publican asked did any one have that many to spare ,most of there’s were ready to drop Lambs ,so the Publican said he would supple his ,the thing I should of told you was Sam & Fred could speak ,Fred would say thank you mame & Sam next after servicing ,so they started off ,& the counters keeped up with them come the  end of the night they where neck &Neck ,so they got to the last couple of Ewes each Sam saying next next etc ,Fred saying thank you mame ,then came the last service Fred saying sorry Sam , so the first counter had 250 each serviced ,but the second counter made it 251 to Fred as he had also serviced Sam by mistake ,next night at the Pub they payed out,the wife of the Publican asked her husband how much did you loss , he said nothing but gained approx $1:5 million ,she said how ,well you know I tried to buy Sam & Fred ,they wouldn’t, sell so I tryied rent them ,they both said $1,000 per service making it $500,000 ,which we didn’t,have ,so we got a free service ,& at $100,000 per bale of super fine Wool x 10 that’s a million dollars on top ,lol

 


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buster121
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Laughter To Tears Laughter To Tears Laughter To Tears  


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Andy123
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Laughing Out Loud Laugh Laughing Out Loud  


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killer
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Funny how memories start coming back ,this is a true story of a smart publican ,

I grow up with a mate ,who’s father owned the Empire Hotel in North Hobart in Elizabeth st ,his name was Max & his Dad was Max he was also a leading builder & contractor of the day , my dad had the Queens Head 150 to 200yards across the road & his name was Max ,are you confused ,lol ,anyway Max Junior ,my mate became famous as.a  Crickiter ,my claim to fame was I bowled him out first in the back yard before the rest of the world did ,back to my mates Dad ,he was the only person I have meet ,who could think on his feet at a drop of a hat , all the Pigeon guys would meet up there ,my grandfather used to take me there from 5 years old ,plenty of memoirs from my earlier years there ,I had my own stool ,& Max senior gave me lemonade with a dash of Raspberry in it ,I still drink it to day ,anyway at the back of the Pub was a large enclosed court yard ,with 8 foot brick walls with two large gates & sandstone pavers ,there was an old stable  which the pigeon fanciers used to basket & read the clocks ,back in the earliy 60s ,all pubs had to close at 6pm & stay shut on Sundays ,we where all in there one Sunday morn at around 10 am ,about 20 pigeon people & mates etc , lined up at the bar ,by the way you had to be then 21 to go to a pub ,I was 13 at the time ,so l had been breaking the law for a while ,lol when a bang bang came to the two front  wooden doors ,a guest from up stairs ran down to say the cops were there ,as quick as a flash Max senior said go out the back into the court yard ,but we said how do we get out of the court yard as we will be trapped by the high walls ,he said there’s a truck out there with bricks on it ,start unloading them ,so out we went ,Max senior went to the main front doors ,& asked why they were banging on his door they said they had another complaint he was open ,with people in the pub,he said come in ,no one in here but his self ,they came in & saw all the glasses on the bar ,mostly empty ,as everyone had scold  down the beer ,they said what’s this ,he said he had to sack the bar maid from the night before ,she was laszy & didn,t clean up ,they said what’s out the rear door ,he said his court yard ,from where he ran his contractor buisness from ,so out through the doors came the cops ,they said got you ,he said no ,these are my workers unloading some bricks ,so he could use the Monday ,then they pointed to me on the truck throwing bricks to the others ,who were stacking them on the side ,so who is he , Max senior said he’s my apprentice ,the cops said let’s go ,by the way on the way out had a beer & were heard laughing on the way to there car , true ,


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killer
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PS before we could come back in the pub we had to stack the bricks back on the truck ,so the guys were even more thirsty than be fore , lol true 


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Andy123
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@killer great story Killer. 🙂. I used to go down the club, which was at the Ball Tree pub, from a very young age, we were allowed to though. Were allowed to drink soft drinks lol. Had some great times. 


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buster121
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Great story there Killer anymore


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killer
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Max senior told me this one ,he & his Son Max junior were playing in a cricket match in the country grass hadn’t been cut ,but other than that a great pitch ,it was the final & the winners would become premiers ,anyway Max Junior was 30 not out & Max senior was last to go in ,well it came to his turn as tha guy before him got LB ,they needed 7 runs to tie with one ball to go , so he knew they couldn’t, win so was very disappointed ,so he through his bat on the ground in anger & kicked a Pickett off the fence & used it for his bat ,the crowed booed at him as being a bad sport , anyway he faced the last ball & took a almighty swig at it ,hitting at the bottom of the bat ,young Max said run dad run ,the fielders started to move in looking for the ball ,they ran 1 then 2 then 3 , 4 5 as crossing over for the 6th run young Max said to his dad where did the ball go dad Max senior said run the 7th & we are Champions for the season ,the ran the 7th & started walking back to the club house ,young Max said again where’s the ball ,he said don’t look ,it’s on the nail of the Pickett ,that’s why I put the picket under my arm when running ,as the came off the that had booed cheered them , going back home down the midlands highway to Hobart the whole bus load of players couldn’t stop talking & laughing about the day , Eat  

This post was modified 2 months ago by killer

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Andy123
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Brilliant Laugh Laugh Laugh  


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Murray
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Absolutely brilliant!

Thanks killer!

Regards

Murray.


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killer
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Did anyone guess Max surname ,


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buster121
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Posted by: @killer

Did anyone guess Max surname ,

No


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killer
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Tangles or Walker the Australian batsman & Bowler ,he died about 5 years ago ,


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Andy123
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Posted by: @killer

Tangles or Walker the Australian batsman & Bowler ,he died about 5 years ago ,

Don’t recall that name mate. How long ago was that? 


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killer
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Look it up on google ,plenty written on him , 


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